BREAKING: Google Creates Its Own SEO Agency

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    WASHINGTON DC – APRIL 1ST, 2021

    In a bold, industry-challenging move – Google announced the creation of an SEO agency in order to help small businesses get better ranking results during the difficult times COVID-19 has presented them with. 

    BREAKING: Google Creates Its Own SEO Agency 1

    With this new transformation in the SEO industry, Google is sending a clear message about how much it cares about small businesses by going above and beyond it’s Google Small Business movement.

    When asked about why the SEO industry, Prabhakar, the head of search at Google stated;

    “Well, you know, we track everything, including the reviews left on Google My Business pages. And we were simply appalled by the thousands of small businesses complaining about their agencies. With great power, comes great responsibility - and we feel like if we don’t step in now, small businesses will simply never rank organically.”
    BREAKING: Google Creates Its Own SEO Agency 2
    Prabhakar Raghavan
    Head of Search @ Google

    News of Google's New SEO Company took the SEO world by storm.

    Twitter was blowing up with conspiracy theories, the most popular being that Amazon has paid Google to control who ranks in it’s search engine, as Amazon was appalled to learn that they do not take up at least 33% of the first page of organic search results for any given product or service.

    This conspiracy stemmed from a tweet by Jeff Bezos; 

    BREAKING: Google Creates Its Own SEO Agency 3

    But that wasn’t all that was going on with Twitter. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg had his own two-cents to contribute:

    BREAKING: Google Creates Its Own SEO Agency 4

    Google’s new SEO company, led by a CEO who wishes to remain unnamed for now, stated that after having boots-on-the-ground in the pandemic-stricken world was no easy task.

    But, after interviewing hundreds on business owners, and reading thousands of 1-star reviews from upset small businesses, he realized that help was needed.

    Real reviews of SEO Agencies by small businesses:

    Google SEOs CEO said that negative reviews were not the only contributing factor. He also stated that in order to be fair, he had to understand both perspectives; the SEO agency perspective as well as the small business owner perspective. 

    What he came away with was mind-blowing. 

    Here's what SEO agencies were saying about working with small businesses:

    "All these small businesses want the world for a few thousand bucks. They just aren't patient enough to even wait 6 months anymore. It's getting harder and harder to explain that when their competition has been doing SEO for years, you can't just rank above them in a few months."

    Beatrice, President of an SEO agency

    "We really are the best SEO agency out there. The problem is just that there is so much competition, it's too hard to stand out."

    John, CEO of an SEO agency

    "Well, you know, with all those international SEO companies that charge under $500/month and provide guarantees, it's an attractive sales pitch. It's no wonder thousands of small businesses choose them over us and then come to us already hating us because their last agency screwed them over but they know they need SEO so they just hire us anyways. It's like dating someone new who thinks you're going to cheat on them just because the last person they dated cheated on them."

    Mark, President of an SEO agency

    "So, what had happened, was, our sales team was killing it. Things were going great. Then our clients started asking for refunds since they weren't position #1 organically for their keywords our salespeople had promised them without informing us. It was all kinda down hill from there."

    Kylie, CEO of an SEO agency

    After days of interviews, Google SEOs CEO had everything figured out. He knew just what to do in order to ensure Google SEO would be successful. The following highly-controversial pricing model was then published on the Google SEO homepage:

    When we asked him why they have a package priced so low, he stated;

    “Well, we ARE Google. So, technically, we COULD make any website rank #1 if we wanted to. Thing is, we're not going to. We just figured if small businesses really think a few hundred dollars a month will provide them with legitimate SEO services, well, there's no hope for them at that point. So, they may as well pay us instead of some scammy seo company who won't do anything good with the money. We will put their money to good use here at Google and use it to help the world around us.”
    BREAKING: Google Creates Its Own SEO Agency 5
    CEO
    Google SEO

    The Future Of SEO work for Agencies

    Thankfully, it’s not such a grim future for SEO agencies just yet though, as now a publicly traded company with lots of clout in the industry, SEMrush began making bold statements followed by bold moves.

    BREAKING: Google Creates Its Own SEO Agency 6

    Another big player in the industry followed with something that’s been teasing the SEO industry for years, and now, the only question is – is it actually coming soon this time???

    BREAKING: Google Creates Its Own SEO Agency 7

    What will happen to the future of the SEO industry as Google grows it’s SEO division? 

    While there are plenty of SEO memes to depict feelings about the SEO industry right now, this is a question nobody has yet figured out…

    Happy April Fools!

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